The Growing Phenomenon of Grey Divorce: What Older Couples Should Know

While divorce rates have generally declined in recent decades, one demographic has bucked this trend: couples over the age of 50. Dubbed “grey divorce,” this growing phenomenon presents unique challenges that younger divorcees typically don’t face. As empty nests, changing social norms, and desires for personal fulfillment drive more long-term marriages apart, those involved must navigate a complex landscape of financial, emotional, and social hurdles. According to Pew Research Center, divorce rates have more than doubled for adults 50 and older since the 1990s.

If you’re considering ending a decades-long relationship, you’re not alone. Nearly 1 in 4 divorces in the U.S. occur among couples over 65. And when it comes to navigating the financial and emotional implications of a potential divorce, there is no playbook. Many feel an immediate need to move out and move forward, while others find comfort in the familiarity of a long-standing partnership. If you’re weighing such a decision, keep in mind the old saying: The grass may be greener on the other side — until it isn’t. A thoughtful approach, grounded in both personal values and financial reality, can help you move forward with clarity.

Elderly man reading newspaper at the dining table

Financial Repercussions

Perhaps the most immediate concern for divorcing older couples is financial security. After years — or decades — of building wealth together, dividing assets becomes a delicate balancing act. Retirement accounts, pensions, and investment portfolios that were designed to support one household must now stretch to support two.

According to the U.S. U.S. Government Accountability Office, household income typically drops by 41% for women after a grey divorce—nearly twice the decline experienced by similarly divorced men. The marital home often represents both a significant financial asset and an emotional anchor. Deciding whether to keep it, sell it, or downsize adds another layer of complexity.

For many, maintaining their accustomed lifestyle can seem impossible on a single income. That said, living solo doesn’t always mean starting from scratch. Some individuals find that one income — paired with lower expenses — can still go a long way. For example, grocery bills, utilities, and entertainment costs often decrease. You can also explore opportunities to generate supplemental income (think about renting a room to traveling medical professionals, working part-time in a field you enjoy, or downsizing proactively). Many baby boomers and Gen Xers are choosing to work into their late 60s and beyond — not only for financial reasons, but also for connection and purpose.

The good news is many baby boomers and Gen Xers are still working after sixty-five, which makes for new friends and a different social life. Some work to supplement their social security, others because they like their work and the lifestyle it affords them. I advise my clients to weigh the pros and cons, write them down. Happiness is found within ourselves, not our portfolio.

– H. Frances Reaves, Esq.

When navigating this transition, reviewing your financial plan — including income sources, cash flow, insurance, and retirement projections — is essential. And while money matters, your peace of mind is just as valuable.

Healthcare and Retirement Uncertainty

Healthcare is a major concern during and after a grey divorce, especially for those who relied on a spouse’s employer-provided coverage. Before finalizing a separation agreement, it’s critical to understand your Medicare eligibility (typically at age 65), explore long-term care insurance options, and factor in any chronic health needs into the settlement.

If you’re not yet eligible for Medicare, investigate options under the Affordable Care Act or COBRA to ensure there are no gaps in coverage. If long-term care is a consideration, this is also the time to discuss how those costs might be shared or supported.

Retirement plans that were built for two need to be carefully restructured. While divorced individuals may qualify for spousal Social Security benefits if the marriage lasted at least 10 years (SSA.gov), pension payouts, distributions, and withdrawal strategies all change post-divorce. A comprehensive financial review — ideally with a professional — can help clarify what’s possible in this next chapter.

Emotional and Social Challenges

Even when divorce is the right decision—or ultimately a good one—it can still carry a profound emotional toll. The end of a decades-long marriage disrupts more than just routine; it can also disrupt your identity and social landscape. You may no longer be seen as part of a couple, and longstanding friendships or social groups may shift—or even disappear entirely.

This kind of transition can stir up feelings of grief, loneliness, and anxiety. But it can also open the door to meaningful reinvention. Many older adults find that, with time, this period becomes one of rediscovery: reconnecting with old friends, reigniting long-dormant passions, or building new and fulfilling social circles.

Still, the reality of losing close friendships—whether they’ve naturally drifted or chosen sides—can sting. It’s okay to grieve those losses. But take heart: the friendships that matter most will endure, and new connections often emerge when you least expect them. You’re not alone. A growing number of older adults are navigating similar paths—redefining their lives, on their own terms.If you’re interested in exploring more about thriving in this vibrant stage of life, Boomers Booming: How to Thrive After Sixty Five — offers inspiring insights and practical guidance for embracing your next chapter fully and joyfully.

Impact on Family Dynamics

While adult children may not face custody arrangements, divorce can still upend their emotional world. Holiday traditions, family gatherings, and milestone celebrations often need to be renegotiated. Adult children often feel caught in the middle, unsure how to support both parents without feeling disloyal to either. Even within an amicable divorce, these changes can trigger grief, anger, or confusion.

Parents can ease this transition by being mindful of boundaries. It’s important to reassure family members that they are not responsible for taking sides or managing anyone else’s emotions. Be clear, consistent, and respectful when discussing new logistics for family events. If one parent is struggling with independence—emotionally, physically, or financially—adult children may feel pressure to step in. Acknowledging that and proactively planning for future support needs can help prevent resentment and strain.

With open communication, empathy, and time, a new rhythm will emerge. Relationships can evolve in meaningful ways—even strengthening—as everyone adjusts to the new normal.

Moving Forward

Despite the challenges, grey divorce can also be an opening—for personal growth, clarity, and fulfillment.

You may discover new passions, deepen relationships with adult children, and, if you’re so inclined, even find romance again. There’s often a surprising, almost teenage-like excitement to being on your own—only this time, it comes with wisdom, resilience, creativity, and (ideally) a bit of financial stability.

Successfully navigating this transition requires thoughtful financial planning, professional guidance, and strong social support. But you don’t have to do it alone. As grey divorce becomes more common, so does the recognition that life doesn’t end here—it reinvents itself. And often, beautifully.

Connect with us to explore how a financial plan can help you navigate life transitions like grey divorce with clarity and confidence. Schedule a consultation.

Independent Contributor Statement

This article includes insights from a guest contributor who is not affiliated with Evensky & Katz / Foldes Wealth Management. The views expressed are their own and do not necessarily reflect those of the firm. This content is intended for informational purposes only and should not be considered legal, financial, or tax advice. Readers are encouraged to consult their own professional advisors regarding their individual circumstances.